Fowler's Gap - Project X3 - Artist studio construction

As outlined before I had been to Fowlers Gap just 100km or so from Broken Hill for a month to help fabricate a building. During my time there I kept a small diary which I'm uploading now.

 

16 November 09

Pilot

 

Woke up at 4:45am to finish packing and head off to Central. Hopped on the CountryLink train only to find that due to heat restrictions, the train will be forced to travel 20km/h slower. The trip that supposedly was 11 hours extended to 16.

 

Had to pay for the food on the train, and it wasn't nice either. Airline type food reheated, I opted for the sausage rolls and pies on the train instead. Though I must say, the trip is more bearable on a train, more freedom, more movement, bit more privacy, and the ass doesn't feel as sore. You could walk out on the platform at each stop and get back in 1 min. later if you wished.

 

10:10 pm. Arrived at Broken Hill, squished about 12 people in the troop carrier and gunned down the road to Fowler's Gap. Literally… Gunning. Gravel road, lots of dust, bad visibility, heavy high vehicle and high speeds did not seem to phase Dino. It was fun though, felt like a ride at a theme park.

 

Rooms were good, water smells funny… but I think it's fine, reminds me of Singleton Army Base. It's fine. Hot day ahead. 42 degrees… heading to 47 possibly.

 

 

17 November 09

Pool, kangaroo battles and bbq

 

There wasn't much food left by morning, packed our stuff and headed off to the site to unload the truck. With the forklift – an excavator with forklift prongs attached to the bucket, we unloaded a good few palettes and proceeded to sort them into manageable piles.

 

We looked at the footings in place and found that there was a difference between the plans and the actual footing. There was meant to be a step down, of the last 2 rows of footings, by 300. What we found was that they made it to the same height. I am unsure whether or not it was the contractors mistake or unclear plans, either way, it meant that we couldn't install all the stirrups on the footings right away. Already behind behind on schedule… Not good!

 

Didn't bring my work gloves. Big mistake. There are so many splinters in my hands! The bearers were freaking heavy. Even with 4 guys carrying it was tough. It got up to a modest 40 degrees or so before we headed back for lunch in which Crazy Korean Chef John Ha cooked us up spaghetti with meat sauce, capsicum, onion, carrot etc. etc. It was nice.

 

The pool… Best university investment ever. It was soooo nice. To be able to jump in on a hot day, into strangely enough, not hot water… but nice and cool… It was the best! Floated for a while there before heading back to room to watch some drama and to find myself half asleep.

 

After a harsh alarm wake up to get ready for time to work, I was told that Tony hasn't left Sydney yet and that there was to be no work as it was too hot. Truth be told it wasn't really. Again in the pool, before we decided to have a bbq.

 

Helped John set up, he marinated some chicken wings, honey soy to be precise. Chips… steak… what more can you want? We decided to have a good old authentic wood fire bbq. Finding logs to start up the fire, all the while, Simon was feeding carrots to his new found kangaroo friend Floppy. In comes the kangaroo we were warned about… The buck with the ripped ear, highly aggressive, will attack others… As Floppy was happily eating the carrot, the buck (we nicknamed Saggy … from the bottom down) hopped closer. Floppy went into an all out rage, growling and scratching… Floppy 1: Saggy 0.

 

The food was excellent, minus the fact that the flame was stronger than we thought, so the chicken became black on one side, but overall not bad… in fact, delicious. Floppy sat patiently… sat? Stood… Stood there patiently as we cooked, whilst another shy kangaroo comes, Floppy goes crazy again and attacks. Floppy's territorial, he may be cute to us… but he sure does hold his own.

 

Fell asleep watching Burn Notice… Only to shower and sleep for the early morning.

 

18 November 09

Hot Hot hot!

 

I'm writing right now at an approximately 43 degrees with bursts of northerly hot winds from the middle of the desert. It is scorching! The morning was better with a great selection of cereal and fruits and juice. We ate up, got ready to leave to find a small Doe and her joey outside. On closer inspection, another joey was present as well.

 

Got to the site. Sunny… Not too bad, with cold winds… We started to dig. Our plan was to cut the first two rows of footings by 330mm. Too bad some were at ground level, so in order to cut 300mm off, we had to dig. Toiling in the heat, we dug for a good 3 hrs or so… 3.5 maybe… Cici of the group suffered from heat exhaustion, puking and not feeling well.

 

Stirrups still haven't all been set up yet, got one in. But it's some progress. Trenches are still there. On progress. By paper, we have done nothing but set up one stirrup. Working later today! Maybe.

 

Well it turns out we did start working… After another bbq – honey soy chicken with chips and salad and sausages, we ate up, unloaded a truck containing 3 weeks worth of food or should I say… Enough to start a supermarket… All the boys went out for work.

 

So it was 9:45 and we all hopped into the troopie. We had to set up a lot of lights to see in the dark as there was no moon or stars. There was more digging, as well as the arrival of the concrete cutter in which we started to test it out and cut piles with. The concrete cutter required a person to operate it, as well as someone feeding it water in which water would be splashed onto the blade to cool it. Very annoying process to keep the hose in the makeshift water tank we made from used drinking water bottles. We went back at 1:45, had a few beers, some yogurt and some sausages then headed off to sleep. To wake up at 6:30am a few hours later.

 

19 November 09

Water boy

 

So we begun cutting, and we did a lot. Nick cuts, I stand there with a 10L tank of water on my shoulder or carrying it. It got heavier and heavier despite the fact that it emptied each time. It's the 20^th now and my shoulders are a little tired. There was a nice southerly wind though.

 

Since our two tents we erected were completely smashed in and blown away by the wind, we tied a taupaulin to 4 sturdy posts nailed to the ground and used that as shade. Nick, John and I stayed back to cut and sledge, taking a short break as well as sandwiches lunch under the surprisingly cool make-shift shelter. We started to bring oranges and it's great. It refreshes you as you suck the juice, hydrating you and filling you up at the same time. We stopped work when it got really hot despite the cool breeze. So hot that the petrol inside the cutter began to boil.

 

I was so desperate to jump into the pool, it was about a 15 degree difference, and it was orgasmic.
After cooling down, helped Cici prepare dinner, curry with stir fry. It was delicious and well accepted by the others. I napped only to find no work in the arvo or at night. Fell asleep unshowered, but in rinsed off from the pool. Just too tired.

 

20 November 09

Weather's changing

 

It's 6:50PM right now. It looks cloudy, about to storm. It was an overcast day and very cool. We headed out, and began to cut vigourously. Things were going well, few stoppages, have 2 half done piles left, but was unable to continue as we wore off the diamond tip of the blade of the saw. We marked out most of the stirrup placements. I took a few pictures over the ridge only to find a completely different world on the other side. It was green and lush, a meandering stream, a lake in front of the dam, trees, grass, life.

 

We came back later than the usual group again, we had a very very nice lunch, beef patties with melted cheese, with lettuce, tomato, home made cut potato chips. Funny how I'm eating such nice things in the middle of hell. I got to see Coke too! Man I missed you…. Mmmm… Sweet Coke.

 

Jumped into the pool then began to prepare dinner with everyone. It's Simon's birthday so we're baking him a cake, plus steak, with some mashed pumpkin and roasted veggies. I think it'll be great. Tomorrow's going to be an interesting day… Not enough tools to do enough work so apart from completing marking of stirrups, we are going to have to find things to do. Set up some H frames or something… Going to check on the food now.

 

Awesome drinking and dinner. We played a good drinking game in which everyone draws cards in turns and each one requires you to do different things. Made John Ha drink heaps, Simon drunk heaps, so did Dino (somewhat very willingly). Saw Simon licking cake off Dino's beard and it just got a bit too weird for me then. There was cake all over the ground and on Simon's body, alcohol everywhere and everyone had an awesome time.

 

21 November 09

A cool break

 

It's 10:41PM right now. It's storming. Like pouring down rain with lightning that shorted the circuit out a few times. Woke up bright and early today only to find nobody really woke up so we took it easy today. Had breakfast, watched tv, had brunch of leftover patties… watched tv… watched drama, played games on my laptop, talked to people, slept a bit and welcomed Anton. He arrived by aircraft from Sydney to Broken Hill. Watched more movies then went to eat dinner in which the girls made a nice pasta. We then had a general meeting to wake up at 5AM tomorrow. Let's see how that goes as people are still excited about the rain right now… Going to bed now.

 

25 November 09

Catch up

 

We had very little work after my last post and the first batch of people left. We got a jackhammer drill to saw off the remaining excess concrete which I learnt later today was still not enough. The new batch of kids were pretty excited and enthusiastic, however they seem less willing to help around than the last batch.

 

Ever since Anton arrived on Saturday 21^st, we have had very cool weather. It sprinkled today late in the afternoon/evening and there was forecasted storms for tomorrow. The new kids found it strange as did I and many that stayed from the first week. We had become so accustomed to the hot weather that it felt somewhat surreal or awkwardly out of place. The weather did not match the landscape, in fact the cool breeze and chilly mornings to the barren and arid looking landscape juxtaposed together seem to rudely clash at each other.

 

The structure will be going up soon. The plates for some bays are in place. We need to check the levels and align them. One H frame at the northern plan side of the step down deck is constructed and ready to go.

 

It amazes me though how problems seem to spring up more than rabbit babies in mad mating season. Every step of the way there has been some unforeseen problems. Today we found that the bearers that lie on the plates snug way too tightly and actually rubbed against the nutless threads holding the plate to the footings. They had to be routed for the threads and nuts to fit. As mentioned, the concrete footings were still at the wrong height; Anton got to work on that.

 

A new academic staff flew in today for 'assessments'. The way this course has been structured has been very bad. As a volunteer I am free to stand by and comment on what I have seen without getting too hot headed and involved to be labelled bias. There has simply a lack of support from the university for these students. We lacked academic staff for 4 days. Now they send one in for 3 days? Ridiculous! The lack of authority in this student led project has led to this fabulous and great opportunity of a course go to waste. Students were not committed enough and were not directed. To solely depend on Anton the project manager, who is a student himself, to coordinate tasks and control these students is just unfair and absurd. These students were not putting enough. Their attitudes were much less keen than I had expected, if not, they are much less than mine!

 

JP felt it was frustrating with the level of commitment from students and nobody was to blame but the bad framework of the course. Good idea, great opportunity, poor administration and controls. I think he is right, and the general initiative by the students, their awareness and enthusiasm is disappointing to say the least. I asked JP to explain the process of erecting the building and after so he said I had more idea of the building structure, process and composition than around 85% of the students. To me, a newcomer with so little idea, it seems that what I thought was a great task, was diminished in the presence of these students. I was called 'crazy' for doing this without having to, which I thought was strange. To me this is fun, and I want the experience. I want to see to the end of this. However difficulty and remotely possible it may seem.

 

29 November 09

Beauty of this place

 

The landscape here is amazing. On Thursday it rained and stormed but left a fresh morning that cleared up in no time as we trekked up to the site. The once empty gullies and rivers were flowing, the squelching feeling of the clay underneath your foot, it was amazing. Water had weathered out small amounts of clay on flat plains and left behind cavities much like the shape of the Grand Canyon. We had some difficulties crossing the river, holding onto branches to go across. The place looked greener and smelt fresh. The morning sun peeking out from the clouds before heating the place up, the clouds swept away to the south and left behind a vast blue sky.

 

On the 28^th, the Saturday, Siem, Lit, Dino and I headed for Packsaddle, somehow this peculiar place was labelled as a town and was on the map. It wasn't much apart from one building. I didn't bring my SLR and regretted it. We drove past once flooded river and road intersections, drove on both sealed and unsealed roads as well as watched the gusts of wind engulf the car and us in it, as well as spinning like a wild tornado on the side, picking up all the dust and vegetation in its path. The bar had a country feel with everything inside wooden. It had a dining room in which saddles and hats were hung on the ceiling with a pool table and an old unused fireplace. Few tables were around the bar with a lot of posters of various objects, from Australian posters to an atlas with different coins around the world stuck to its respective country. It was nice to get out of the station.

 

The night sky is beautiful here. You can clearly see the milky way, Orion seemed to be a giant towering over me. The moon was clear and with the low amount of light pollution, it illuminated the place with a pale eerie white glow.

 

It's Sunday now, and from that rainy day till now, we have had 2 H frames up and 3 rafters up, the joists for the floor is in and level. We have levelled a good amount of plates, as well as started to finish up drilling and setting the threads for the remaining step down deck. (A1, B1, C1, A2, B2, C2) I woke up to a note asking me and Tony to direct some operations for the morning crew as Anton led a night crew that came back at 3am which I did not attend along with a few.

 

It's Sharon's birthday and we're going to party tonight. I can hear the people chatting loudly and drinking already outside my room on the outer deck with chairs, a common place to discuss the day's events and chill. I guess I needed a little time for myself right now.

 

11 of us including Tony headed up the ridge of the site after we completed some work to watch the sun set. Again, breath taking. The sun reflected small bowls on the slow moving river leading towards the dam, as well as casting streaks of orange and red, tainting the clouds. It hid and came out continuously as it set as if it was playing a game of hide and seek with us. The clouds rolled leisurely over the giant plains, and from the that height, you could see the patches of cloud shadows cast the landscape into shades of dark and light. I attempted to take a few photos but I guess my photo taking skills and simply due to the beauty of the landscape led me to think that this will never be able to capture the atmosphere and magic of this place. To feel it is vastly different than to see it.

 

2 December 09

Bliss

 

The party went a bit crazy, Thea and I puked. All boys ended up in women's dresses all posing sexily which on hindsight and in the photos looked really really disturbing. No joke. We ended up doing some inappropriate stuff, John and Sharon made out. Thea and Nick disappeared for a while… Dry humping Siem and taking body shots of Nikola. I have a massive hicky on my neck by Siem. Completely insane, Anton sent me to bed to end the night in which I was in nothing but boxers.

 

Well the small H frame is up. By later in this afternoon we'll have 5 H frames up, 2 on the small bay and 3 on the big bay. The bearers are nearly all in, the plates for the remaining footings are being made. I need to level out the remaining footings and there is a mistake to be corrected today. Shit! I hate levelling. It is utterly boring. I have done it way too many times and it drives me up the wall now.

 

John Carrick came and left, fabulous guy, quite quiet and courteous. I hope I made a reasonably good impression on him to ask for a job later. I would much rather work for him over this summer than Parsons Brickenhoff, although both are good choices. One is a large firm which increases my chances in joining Arup, whilst I get to see the full process of design in a smaller firm with many tasks. Either one is good, but I'm leaning more towards John Carrick. Let's see if he'll accept me first, still write the email later tonight for PB that mum has hooked me up for connections. Adelaide PB, could be an interesting experience living by myself for a while.

 

It's quiet around base right now, after lunch. We're getting a lot done on site recently. It's good, we're starting to see motivational progress. The weather has been sunny and warm with a cool breeze, which makes working so much easier.

 

The other day I trekked up to a ridge with John Ha and Liam Filson. The terrain of the surrounding region is very flat with the exception of the ridge we were on. As far as the eye could see. Rocky ground, with gusts and willy willy surrounding the areas. Visibility at the top was unlimited.

 

Yesterday there were a bunch of artists that came to get an idea of the site, as well as snoop out some information on our funding and construction method. We suspect they are from a rival project. Anyhow one of them was into fire sculpting and gave us a bit of a show.

 

6 December 09

 

It feels as if time around here is mixed and mashed, merged dirtily with each other much like the dam and shower water around here, except less stinky. It's easy to lose track of time when it feels like everyday you are doing the same thing. The days are somewhat long, and they're becoming a bit routine to some extent. Wake up, eat, work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep. Many of us are beginning to lose some motivation or strength.

 

John had a stomach bug after being hit on the head of he party, he then proceeded to hit his head during his collapse with the stomach bug. He fell on his back yesterday as he stepped onto an unsecured joist, falling about a little over a metre. He was sore all over, particularly his lower back and down. Fortunately it's going away so it's not that serious, maybe some bruises that's it.

 

It has been getting warmer recently. Today I was feeling the heat of the sun beating on me as I was doing the decking with Siem. That bit of tarp we pulled over the small bay was a haven in this unforgiving heat.

 

We walked home yesterday from site, just the five of us: Anton, Thea, Nick, Siem and I, whilst the others finished off the insulation. It was pretty. The stars came out as the moon was in hiding. It felt as if someone has scattered magical white glowing dust into the air and it became suspended there, stuck magically and provided a tranquil feel to the air. The sky was literally littered. A sight I believe would be very very rare in the light polluted city. Bright stars, stars that twinkled… Even dust clouds that suggested they were far away galaxies yet still relatively close. I think it's amazing how we're staring in to the past. They are too if they saw us. Yet there is a present time. Stars represent the past, in the future. They could be gone by now, but their imprint is still very real to us.

 

I went into Broken Hill recently. Rang a few people. It was refreshing. People, malls, shops… The town was small, consisted of one storey high buildings with the occasional tall 2 storey pub. The streets stretched out on both sides, small shops sandwiching the wide road. The mall was small, with sunshades over the parking rather than a giant parking complex. Land is not an issue here.

 

I'm beginning to slightly miss Sydney. Perhaps not. It's very relaxed out here despite putting in hours of labour. Maybe I miss some difference thrown into my life. Maybe I miss civilisation.

 

15 December 09

Home!

 

On the night before, John cooked a nice roast, we put all the food onto the troopie and had a nice dinner under the stars on our half made building, with a nice ipod to the side. The tutors went back and left us students to lie there, counting and admiring the stars whilst counting the comets that whisked by. I cannot emphasise how beautiful the night sky and how much I find it mystical and romantic. We're staring into different pasts all at the same time, maybe of something that doesn't exist anymore. The star clouds were so predominant and clear, the sparkles left by the shooting stars… Magical. Shame my camera couldn't capture such beauty.

 

We packed a lot of food, and took a lot of unused spices, sugar and tea for the upcoming train trip home that night. We slept at about 2, and woke up on the 15^th at 5:15 to get ready for departure. We shook hands and waved goodbyes, patted the roo then left, with the sun in our faces as it rose over the south ridges, bringing an ambient and orange mixed with yellow glow into the troopie, also making it so pleasant. We finally saw red kangaroos much to Siem's delight… A whole mob of them. There was not just one or two, but a mob! Right next to the highway. What a perfect ending.

 

We arrived early at Broken Hill, hopped on the train, Siem and Liam checked their baggages in and we proceeded to say bye to Dino and his missus, much like a pack of kids saying bye to their parents. Very odd, but funny nonetheless.

 

The train trip was fast then turned slower as the unbearable kids started to scream and run. We slept, played Carcasonne, as well as listened to music and chatted. Again, the train slowed down due to intense heat and speed restrictions. It was painful towards the last few suburban stations as I knew how close we were and how slow we were crawling along. 16 hour train trip with 17 in total with the drive from FG to BH, then a 30 min. train ride to Kogarah. It was tiring. I could have been to HK and back in that time.

 

My bed is a beautiful thing. Home sweet home.

Excited

It's hard for me to get truly excited about something. Recently I am though... after exams, out to Fowlers Gap it is for a month to construct an arts studio for my uni... It'll be like camp! No phone coverage and no internet though... 100km from Broken Hill... Total isolation.

Looks really desert like and there's a lake next to where we will building... I hope I don't get eaten alive by bugs.

Man I'm so pumped for this.

Best Night

Had a primary school reunion last night... I came back home at 7:30am this morning having no sleep at all... It was really really really really good. I would say it was almost the best if not the best night I've had of partying. So many people remembered me... and I remembered them despite no contact for 10 yrs... I mean... their faces changed... some not much... some a lot... and it became a game for recognizing each other.

Ming-Him... I haven't been called that for agesss... haha so affectionate when people called me that. Some had babies, babies on the way... some just bought houses... Feels so good to know such a diverse range of people. If it weren't for this common link of same school... I don't think I would have met these people.

The link between us was so close. It's almost as if everyone was best of friends... drinking... dancing... chatting. Massive group hug that seemed so innocent and simple. A fight erupted at the 12:30am when the RSL closed... cops came to seperate, after that set back.... everyone shook it off, and a lot went to Peakhurst pub. More dancing and drinking involved.

A few lifts and driving to Maccas for a mid night craving followed then back to my good friend's place to eat and chill until the morning, chatting and just kicking back. Feels good.

Red Red Red!

Look at the red clouds. Is it sunrise? I peered out of the window before slumping back in bed. Too early... too early. A sudden blast. A loud burst of music rudely exploded in the room. Time to get up. Wasn't it sunrise?

"Ming.... you left your window open?"

"Huh?"

"See the red sand?"

"Huh?"

What I thought was just sunrise or refraction of sunlight turned out to be one of the biggest dust storm of 70 years. A big storm with gale winds picked up sand from inland desert Australia and blew it to Sydney and now Brisbane. My brother showed me youtube clips of bloody red surroundings in the morning. The red outside seemed to be better than what was posted up an hr ago at Brokenhill...

People at bus stops holding scarfs to their mouths and noses, not knowing that surgical masks do nothing as it doesn't block out fines.... It was all very interesting.... Everything was a sea of red...swimming in it.... When the sun broke out from cloud covers and illuminated areas... it looked eerie... It seemed white.... Like ... Tungsten lighting....



Weather officials warned there could be another coming in a few days....Interesting interesting ^^

Rocks and Conception

It was a warm and sunny day on Friday. Left home early in the morning with my brother Shek to uni. The plan was for him to get to uni early to finish off a structures assignment whilst I went to Paine Reserve near uni to complete defect mapping for a site investigation for a civil engineering project. Man that sounds complicated doesn't it? I sound like a professional =)

In layman's terms, site investigation in a geotechnical (studying rocks and soils and their behaviour) engineering always consists of guessing what type of material is below the ground surface of your construction site. So from walking around the site, we might be able to get some hints as to what's underneath. This guess is then checked by drilling holes to check what's really underneath. So why guess? Well my lecturer points out unless you're looking for specifics, you will never really get a detailed plan of what's underneath. He has some quote about, if you're just looking with no direction then you only "observe" but if you do have a direciton then you "see".

So anyway, this Paine Reserve is situated on Botany and Rainbow street of Randwick.

We were to assume we were going to put a pump house at the corner as shown in the diagram. Our job was to do an investigation as to what was underneath the ground, what sort of tests we need to do to get the strength of the rock/soil, what type of foundations to use... In short, making sure it's safe to put something at the corner. We did a previous site walk over to get a general idea of the site, but we missed out on the detailed mapping of 'rock defects'. Breaks, changes in rock that will affect its behaviour and strength.

We wrote a lot of notes and made some measurements. It's amazing how we can look back so far just by looking at something so simple. These rocks we were seeing were millions of years old.



Sand and soil get dumped in layers, and so you can see here, the horizontal layers on the rock, well not really... too small? Anyway it's slightly tilted now, so that means the ground moved somehow due to past plate tectonics. So what we ended up seeing is folds in the rock, meaning the earth underneath would be just as wavey as well, that means the rock is strong in different directions. See the picture under? It's wavey! Anyway we kept reading compass bearings and directions and mapped the whole place out.



After that was done, it was straight to Macquarie Uni! Conception Day is today! I haven't taken a bus from UNSW for ages, ended up waiting for an express bus that took longer to start than other city buses. Oh well, I didn't mind waiting, no rush I guess.


Hopped onto a train at Central to Chatswood station. Haven't been on that red line for a while, and certainly haven't been to the new renovated Chatswood station! I wanted to take the train straight to Macquarie Uni. Haven't been on that train stop either... so a lot of new experiences. I remember going to MQ uni before by getting off at Epping station then taking a bus, or a bus direct from QVB.


Finally arrived at Chatswood Station! It looks nice. Didn't have to wait long for a train to MQ uni. Was on one of those millenium trains again. I don't get to ride them much, so I don't usually remember, but I noticed how LED's light up the door for preventing trips or warning there is a gap! That's so awesome! hehe not really, but im an engineer, everything amuses me.






Macquarie uni station! It looks pretty awesome, imagine all the work gone into making this station... just mapping the rock defects, guessing what's underneath, site investigations for the tunnel and all... that would have been a large amount of work, and the less accurate about their predictions, the more expensive the project is going to be. To make sure the road and buildings above aren't going to collapse down, tunnelling is not going to shake the buildings... and the anesthetics of the station, it's pretty good I think!




Check out the support for the escalator... hmmm ... i know, engineering geek, I analayse too much sometimes don't I?


Well I got to MQ uni, and after eating a big fat Oporto lunch with lots of oil, I was ready to drink hard and immerse myself in this legendary party I have heard so much about but never been. The line to get in was amazing... Quite long... below is only just a tiny section of the line too!

Dance floors, bands, stalls and even a ferris wheel!




So how was the party? I didn't like it. Maybe for a few reasons:

• Time of party
• Queue cutters to the bar
• Music
• Lack of close friend company
• No hot chicks

Apart from the first and third point, it is quite self explanatory so I won't dwell on those points. Let's begin with Time of Party. Some people entered this party at 11am. AM. That's right, what party apart from 6 yr old birthday parties start in the AM?! There's something about the human mind that's very complex and interesting. Drinking in the day, makes it less fun. Getting pissed during the day... is dumb. So it was hard to drink. Well not hard, but different. We don't have the comfort of the darkness to veil our shameful acts and vomited goods. However, this isn't really a major point I suppose. I haven't placed a great deal of weighting on this factor as I knew this before the party was started... Just found it interesting to share.

Music? Everyone has different tastes to music. That's why I suggest if you are going to have multiple dance floors, have different genres. Forcing a one size fits all does not do well. From trance to hardcore trance... I don't think so pal. Let me conduct a survey:

What type of music do you prefer at a club/party?
A) RnB
B) RnB
C) RnB
D) RnB

It seems that from the results, 100% agree on me that RnB is the way to go. Not only is it a "modern" feel, it is the most less controversial. What do you mean? Most music these days can be classified as rock/RnB. Sure, like I said, different tastes, some really hate RnB, (idiots) but! We just need a regular beat, nothing too fancy, just so we can bounce around, bob, or get into what is known as the "party vibe". Trance...please... unless you know a bit of Shuffling, is just a bit weird to dance to, or even just relate or heaven forbid... sing to. Weighting was slightly higher on this as it sets the mood and gives people to do. Oh yes, the bands, wolfmother ok.. but that Jack Ladder guy that just echoes? Come on. Better quality music, but most importantly, different genres of music. (RnB)

Lack of close friend company was my fault mainly so very little weighting was placed on this. The most weighting was "no hot chicks". Though there were some very-short-skirt-so-I-can-see-butt-cheeks... the average quality overall wasn't good to say the least. I'm just joking folks... Who am I to judge? I'm not that superficial... but seriously... it weighed the most.

In conclusion: On a scale of 0 to 10, the party was around a 4 or a 5... Has potential, but not that awesome.

I left at 6pm, and I went to Chatswood to eat at Makoto, a sushi train. I wasn't full when I finished, but I knew if I keep going I would be broke. Man sushi trains sure are expensive. It was good though. Last time I had Makoto was in the city, on my 19th birthday. That time i ate 50 dollars or 60.... Kha and I were seeing how much we can eat... He won in the end, but still it was fun... and hell expensive. Here's an old photo recap:

To Do List Today

1. Eat breakfast now
2. Hang the clothes up
3. Blog about events
4. Apply for more engineering jobs
5. Apply for Christmas casual jobs
6. Read finance textbook - do homework

My favourite player

My favourite tennis player is Nadal. He's one year older than me.. He's polite off court yet barbaric looking and downright scary when he plays. He's a gracious winner and gracious loser. He comforted Federer on his loss on the Australian Open and allowed the limelight to be stolen off him. What a nice guy... He never gives up. I love that about him. He just keeps on going... who would have thought he would win the Australian Open after a long 5 set match the day before huh? I guess I should learn a little from him. Rise up the challenge and conquer! Charge!

He's winning right now in the quaterfinals, but due to rain delays, he has to play for 3 straight days if he is to win the US Open! I hope he wins it... that would give him the career grand slam... and not federer... that's boring!

Go nadal! I have faith! Don't let the injury impede your victory! go go go!

It's a nice day

It's a nice day today, blue skies, not a single cloud in sight, it's warm, it's sunny.... there's a nice breeze. There's no more winter anymore. No more cold days or chilly winds. Even the birds are chirping. It's so comfortable in my room right now. Just reading a bit on my bed and listening to music. This is bliss. This is nice. ^^

Conflicting emotions

Sometimes I feel as if emotions of mine conflict. They're not rational. It's frustrating... Why? Maybe i am just confused, maybe I don't know what exactly I want. I guess that's what we mean by ambivalence and turmoil. It just doesn't make sense.

Often we are faced with situations where we just don't know how to act. It's new. It's foreign. What exactly are we supposed to do? I'm going through one of those stages at the moment. It's not something someone can help you with, you have to sort it out yourself. It's not simple, or black and white, or rational, or prescriptive. It's subjective. What if the decision I make is wrong? what if the decision I make is not what I ultimately want? I just have to bear the consequences and get on with it. The pressure on my shoulders right now... Life... Ah... so many ways to go about doing things... and all of them can be right. Where's the path I want to walk down? I wish there was a walkthrough manual at times. It's scary.

Belief

You shouldn't let anyone or anything shake or lessen your belief in something. Nothing should deter you from your values. If I was to be in the way, I would move out of the way, let them continue to hold on what is important to them. Even if that means disappearing.

Won't even start

What happened
after last summer
when we broke up
in September

I havent seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by

I still got a piece of you under my skin
Its always there no matter where Ive been

So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
Thats the best
I can do for you

Cuz youll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah its hard to do

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know itll cut me like a knife

So if I ever see you on the street
Ill pretend that I didnt see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then Ill have to say goodbye
And thatll break my heart
So I wont even start
I wont even start

Complacency

I think a major pit fall in life is we become complacent and passive. We enjoy a bit of success and we keep at it, we want the comfort. We don't want to push ourselves more than we can. We should, but we don't.

Not too long ago I was satisfied with my income and uni studies. However, during the last semester, due to influence of a few studious uni friends, I began to take studies more seriously and as a result I achieved somewhat more satisfactory marks in some areas. It felt... Good.

I realized I can earn a lot more, and that I'm more than half way through uni, I'm beginning to think about what I'll do, where I'm heading and what I want in life. I need to start realizing my dreams by starting now. Earn more now. I need to fulfill my dreams and aspirations.

I have to keep pushing myself. I need to earn better marks, I need to earn more money. Push push push. Once I stop. I stand still, and in this world, that means being left behind.

Climb

There's an indoor rock climbing gym that my friend and I regularly visit. Regularly is an exaggeration perhaps, occasionally. It's really enjoyable, so I strongly recommend everyone to try it once at least. See what it's like.

There are many many courses inside, ranging from beginner climbs to very advanced climbs. You can further add the difficulty of your climbs by selecting certain colors of rocks to hold and step on, as well as timing yourself. Bouldering is also an option for those who like it. Recommended times to go are in the afternoon. Mornings and evenings are busy times, with many intermediate to advanced climbers, making it difficult to switch to a course without waiting and/or people watching, something that may intimidate casual climbers or beginners! Might I also mention that you need a climbing partner!



How it works: No, you don't die when you fall off. Yes, it's safe. You have one climber and one person below belaying. The role of the belayer is to catch you if you fall, not literally, but through a pulley system, they can lock the rope attached to your harness and stop you from falling, making this sport relatively safe. Firstly, climb into your harness, both the climber and belayer. there should be a rope on a pulley for each course. Attach the two D clips onto the bridge of your harness for climber, and one D clip to the bridge of the belayer's harness. They should both be secure and checked before the climb begins. You climb, up and up and up. After the climb, the climber sits back on the harness, and the belayer lowers you down slowly (or quickly). Easy.

Willpower and body strength. The two essential elements needed to conquer any climb. It is very easy to give up part way through the course. No proper grabs or holds, the foot keeps slipping, or your body aching and screaming at you to stop before it gives up. To conquer a climb or a course, is to conquer yourself. Literally.

Many a times have my body nearly given way from multiple climbs, telling me to stop and give up. My will to continue and perservere has pulled me through many times through tricky sections. To attempt that reach, to do a small hop, to keep going, to scramble to the next one. Every single, every single time I am able to make it through a section, I am amazed at myself. It feels as if it's purely my will that got me there, pushing my muscles to perform in an impossible state.


There are a few times where I have given up. My will or my body wasn't strong enough to complete the climb, and to be honest, it feels more bad than good than to let go and tell your partner that's it. It's disappointing. After all, you start a climb thinking you can, and if you can't, that's just really, a failure. How you take this failure varies from individual to individual. Some become negatively affected, "I can't do this climb...", "rock climbing isn't my thing". Some use this as a motivation to improve. I wouldn't say I'm purely of the latter, but I do make a mental note of it and try it again another time or later.

How high you can climb depends entirely on your comfort level, and where you strive to finish. Nobody can dictate how far you can or cannot go. I've realized sometimes some goals are unrealistic on my own part. As a result, I had to change my goal during the climb at times. "Pass this section", "reach for one more". It's really like life. You never know how ready you are to achieve your goals unless you're trying. Don't give up, alter your goals so they're achievable. Don't lower it so it's easy though. Those who aim at nothing are sure to hit. Push yourself. Goals should motivate you, help you better yourself and make you feel good. Not just purely make you feel good.

The harnesses are really safe. Rock climbing is safe. Why do people become afraid? I was thinking about this over and over again whilst commencing this blog and I've come to one conclusion. They're afraid to fall. Trust issue with the belayer? Maybe. Safety issue, not wanting injury? Possibly. I am not immune to this. It is scary up there I admit. However, I would say, for me, it's the fear of letting go. During a particular climb recently I realized I was actually afraid of slipping off due to lack of strength. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to keep on going. I was afraid of failing. The fear of not realizing your goals or dreams, or to give up half way. To admit defeat. That's my main reason for fearing. Most people fear of losing or giving up. That's understandable and normal. However failing is not the end. Like the harness and the belay, if you slip, it's there to catch you. Catch your breath, keep going, or give up. There are always second chances. Not great, but at least you dont' fall all the way down.

There is one particular moment that you allow yourself willingly, volunatarily to be vulnerable. At the end of the climb. You simply let go, sit back on the harness and let the belayer lower you down. Trust does help here.

Trust. Hmm. Many a times will your climbing partner or you assist one another (hopefully anyway!). There are times where you are so absorbed in your own tasks you cannot see particular holds that he or she below may be able to see. Guide them, or be guided. It helps, it's easier. People are there to guide you in life, whether you take the advice or not is entirely up to you. Is it plausible for you? Is it suited for you? Only you may know. He or she cannot make you grab it, you must reach for it if you think it's a reasonable suggestion. Too far out of reach? Tell them. Everyone is different. As much as the person below tries to help, the only one that can continue to climb your own course is you. You are in control.

Self improvement? All to easy here. What you couldn't do before, try it this time. Was your body too weak? Exercise and condition your body. Pass this section, now pass that section of the climb. Couldn't climb it fast last time? Improve your time. A million goals can be made, there are so many ways you can improve if you so desire. As I mentioned. How far up you climb, how many you climb, depends entirely on the individual.

A myriad of emotions and lessons learned. The willpower to push you on. The determination to succeed. The fear of defeat. The fear of giving up. Setting your own goals. To guide. To be guided. To reach. To improve. Rock climbing is enjoyable. It's a great sport, but it really helps me to get focused again. It really does have a lot to teach. One at a time, one hold by one hold, one reach for one reach. We slowly go up. A japanese manga said once to me: to be great at something, we must fall, for we can easily give up climbing, whereas if we fell into it, we are unable to stop, despite its hardships and challenges. Makes sense doesn't it? I think to climb is better. It's hard. You learn.

Hitting the top. Achieving what we set out. Pure ecstacy. Pure... satisfaction.

Dependable emotions

To what degree are we willing to put up with someone? For how long? What makes us get over our differences and move on in life? What enables us to realize that this argument is only fleeting and short? What makes us know that deep down, the other party is important to us?

Why? What? How?

To love and to trust. Illogical. Unbelievable. Difficult.


Inexplicable

The Brain Factory - No talking please!

Accepting the fact that I simply could not focus when I study at home, my brother and I decided to head off to the local library today. Our local library isn't far, a 5 min drive. It's a great place to study. In fact, during university and high school exam periods, it is bursting with eager, young and hopeful students. Or students that realize the very probable and grim fact that they may fail the upcoming exams. I would say I belong in the latter.


Our library is divided into two main study sections.

The "noisy" section: close to the books, where a number of tables allows you to chat, discuss and terrorize the public... From experience, the "noisy" section is a wild, unruly, and, a natural habitat for high school boys and girls. These two species co-exist in this habitat solely to meet one another and attempt to mate. Why in the library? Well, it serves as a good excuse for both their parents and for their guilty conscience for not studying.

Then there's the "silent" section in libraries. They happen to be the better places to get focused and study. The main reason why I find studying in the library so effective is that it is free of distractions, noise and you have other people motivating and edging you to study. The atmosphere is great. In fact it's so great, that if you arrive too late from when it opens, all the seats in the silent section are taken up.

Arrived early! Hasn't filled up yet

Not just a brain factory, where memories, thoughts, opinions and knowledge are created and absorbed... The library is also a time machine. Without the distractions, a minute in there is a long time. What seems like 3 hrs of study comes down to possibly 30 minutes. I find one or two full days of solid study in this time machine allows me to revise an entire subject that took a semester to learn.


There is an unspoken code of conduct in the silent area. "No Talking" Really. How much simpler can this instruction be? Nothing but the sound of your brain gears moving can be emitted in the "silent" section. Well, at least, technically. Many a time have I wanted to seriously injure a person for emitting more than an involuntary sound. STOP TALKING. Switch your phone on silent! If you are to answer a call... walk outside! Nothing annoys me more than being disturbed in the middle of an intriguing and engaging calculation of a problem (heh) than someone answering their phone next to you. Well that's not true, crying babies do annoy me more than that... But still?



It's not hard to recognize repeating offenders. My brother and I have come to recognize a certain ring tone that keeps ringing every time we go. I remember sitting there, along with 30 other people, listening to this ring tone for a full 10 min. as the owner had left it unattended on the table and went off somewhere. Despite the extreme annoyance displayed by everyone's faces, the ring tone grows on you. It's actually quite catchy. Do do do do...


These brain factories are my salvation, my safe haven, during exam periods. Whoever thought of putting tables in a house and making everyone stay quiet? Brilliance.

Remember Dr. Evil from Austin Powers? His button that ejected annoying and imbecile people down into a pit of flames below their seat? I really need one.

Motivation

What exactly is motivation? A drive to do something. A will to continue... to persevere... even in the harshest of conditions.

All successful or distinguished individuals in society paid a cost to accomplish the deeds we deem admirable. Time, money, effort, the list goes on... One should note that despite the possible vast differences from each other, they all possess the motivation and the will to strive for success. To achieve their goals.

Passion.

The driving force for maintaining motivation. Passion allows us to fully dive into what we know is a world of uncertainty and hard work. Passion allows us to chase our dreams... Not to dream, but to actually pursue them. All the countless hours, the pain, the effort... ultimately becomes worthwhile. Without passion... No motivation... No perseverance... No success.

Just reminding yourself you love the activity you're doing, the job you're in, the sport you play, the one thing you wish to excel at; can rekindle that flame of passion you may have forgotten that existed. If such a small ember fuels a larger fire again, the motivation to excel and accomplish... will support you.

Which is where I am now. Where is my motivation to study??!